Hey everybody! I hope you all are doing well and staying in good spirits. I wish I could say I am, but I would not be telling the complete truth if I said it. Even though I just had a birthday, and I am beyond extremely grateful for another year, there is just a whole lot going on! However, I am trying to take everything in stride, to stay positive, and to keep moving forward!
In moving forward, I have learned (and unfortunately am still learning) that not everybody can move forward with you. Some people will have to be left behind because if you try to drag them out of their season in your life, you are only hurting and hindering yourself. On the other hand, some people may remove themselves before you can even attempt to drag them into the next season. As much as it may hurt, it is so necessary. Some of us tend to hold onto things and people because of what we knew. Please, pay close attention to the fact that I used past tense for that. It was not a mistake, either. We hold onto the good we knew in a person or the feelings we initially felt but we allow those feelings of the past to cloud the present and ultimately risk hurting the future. The signs of when it is time to let go are there, but sometimes we are so blinded just because we are not ready. Unfortunately, we risk hurt ourselves more by not letting go.
By now you may be asking “how do I know when to let go?” Again, the signs are there, even though subtle they may be. The first sign is that things are not reciprocal. What I typically say regarding this is, “You like the idea of me, but not the reality of me”. I know, I know: What am I even talking about? Have you ever been around someone who is all smiles when you are doing for them? They accept everything you give to and do for them with open arms but when you need support, when you need a shoulder, or an ear, they cannot be bothered? They only seem to vibe with you when you are happy and seem irritated when you are not? More than likely, they only like the idea of you. They like the benefits you produce and provide but cannot accept that you also have feelings and will not always be upbeat and happy, that sometimes, you will need cheering up and support just like everyone else, which is the reality. This is a problem in and of itself because it can be very depleting. It empties your cup because you are providing for this person or these people, but when you need the same, they are nowhere to be found.
Another way you know it may be time to let go, is the dynamics/energy of the relationship changes. This scenario can be slightly tricky. I am a big believer in energy…. the way in which we relate to each other. This is tricky because there might be something going on with the other person and instead of being like the person in the first scenario, you may want to not only check in with them, but also with yourself. Let me break this down. First, everybody goes through things. The person whose energy seems off may be dealing with something they have not mentioned. So, before you just decide to cut them off, make sure they are okay. What do I mean when I say check yourself? Make sure that you have not been acting in a manner to make that person kind of shy away. Sometimes we do this subconsciously and do not mean any harm whatsoever. This is why this can be so difficult; a lot of different factors can play into energy shifting and dynamics changing. Pay attention, but also take the necessary steps.
Finally, the last scenario in knowing it may be time to let go. This one can kind of hurt sometimes. Have you ever reached out to someone…and you were super excited to talk to them, see them, etc. but the whole time, it seems like you are bothering them? I absolutely hate to feel like I am bothering someone. This can occur when they seem to be short with you or just will not respond to you at all. Again, it could just be your imagination, or it could be that they are busy. If that is the case, usually it does not last long, and you can even ask just to be sure. Afterwhile though, it becomes evident and even before that, it may cause you to want to kind of back off just because of their reaction to you and because again, you do not want to feel like you are being a bother. I do not know about you, but it is one of the worst feelings in the world to me and it will turn me completely off that person.
Simply put, we all play roles in life and unfortunately, sometimes that role is that of the fool. We put more value on people than they do us; we give more of ourselves than we are given; and we often turn a blind eye to or sweep things under the rug that are being given as signs that, no matter how much it may hurt, that our season with an individual or individuals has come to an end. I will say this: make sure that you learn your seasons because attempting to stay in one for too long can ultimately cause more harm than good.
This wraps up “Seasons Change”. Be on the lookout for the next article! As always if there’s something you want me to address, please let me know! In the meantime, don’t forget to like, follow, and subscribe!
Pretty Powerful Words 